Thankfulness Day 24

I'm ashamed to admit it, but yesterday I spent more time thinking about what I want, rather than what I'm grateful for.

I want to go home. I miss my parents, I miss my friends, I miss California. I haven't been to the beach in almost three years, and it really makes me sad. I don't think that a lot of the people up here really appreciate being able to go home for the holidays, or maybe I'm just bitter that I don't get to.

I want to not worry about paying bills. The one thing I hate about being an adult is being responsible for everything. My parents and good ol' Uncle Sam help us out occasionally, but I hate worrying. I stress out more than I should, I know, but I can't help it. RJ usually has to pry every penny out of my finger because I always think that we're wasting our money, even when we're buying groceries. Sorry, sweetie.

I want a radio in our car. This list keeps getting more and more selfish. Our jeep hasn't had a functioning radio since we were engaged, and I just miss it. The car can get really quiet, and while I enjoy it sometimes, I also find myself wishing that we just had a stinking radio!

I want to be finished with school, at least for now, so we can know more about our future and what the heck we're going to do with the rest of our lives.

I want my feet to stop hurting. Is it too much to ask for someone to carry me around all the time? I don't think so!

I WANT TO MOVE! I have been counting down the days till we can start to pack and move all of our stuff into a storage unit. Not counting today, we have 5 more days till it is officially December and I can put some of our boxes in a storage unit. I. Can't. Wait. Our house has been too full for too long, and I'm ready to get some of it OUT. I'm ready to purge things that we don't need, hopefully sell some things that we can get rid of, and start fresh in a new apartment. Our little home has been good to us, but I'm sick of it, our landlord, and our neighbors. I'm ready for something new.

And, most importantly, I want Baby to be here now. Up until lately I've felt pretty guilty because I haven't been the pregnant lady who always says, "I wish my baby was here already!" I'm really enjoying being pregnant. In fact, I absolutely love it. Every bit of discomfort and all, I love it. It's something that I will only experience a select few times, and I cherish every second. I also want to soak up every remaining day that I have RJ all to myself, because the time of just the two of us will never come again. And, I'll admit it, I'm terrified of being responsible of another life. I have no idea what I'm doing, and it scares me. I've ALWAYS been excited to start a family with RJ, but now that it's a reality I've spent the past 5 and a half months in shock that I have to be so responsible. Hopefully I don't screw my kids up. However, I've seen a lot of cute little babies lately and it got me really excited for two things. First, for my own sweet little babe to finally make his/her grand debut; and second, because I know without a doubt that my baby will be cuter than any other baby in the entire world. It's a fact. I mean, come on, have you seen how studly my husband is? You should also see my momma, because she's beautiful. This baby is going to have some fantastic genes.

So there you go. There are a few of my selfish desires. It's depressing that I spent all day focusing on what I want, rather than what I am grateful for. So, on the day after Thanksgiving, I am going to at least try and shift my attitude.

I am so grateful for my loving husband. RJ is so good to me, in fact, words couldn't even do it justice. He puts up with all my crazy, and loves me for it. He tells me I'm beautiful every morning, and kisses me goodnight before I go to bed. He hugs me when I'm crying, and he'll do things for me just so I don't have to. He is the greatest person ever.

I'm grateful for my family, who are so fantastic. My parents are willing to do absolutely anything for RJ and me. Seriously, they'll do anything. My grandparents are also fantastic, and are great examples of what it means to be a good person.

I'm grateful for food, and a roof over my head, and a bed to sleep in every night. There are so many people who have nothing, and I'm complaining about wanting a radio in my car.

I'm grateful for the chance to attend a phenomenal university and get a degree in a field that I love. I'm grateful that I chose to become a teacher, and that I followed my heart in knowing it was the right path for me.

I'm grateful for a healthy pregnancy, and an even healthier baby. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant, but Baby Evershed is measuring at 23 and a half weeks because of head size and length. This is going to be a big baby, ladies and gentlemen. Mark my words.

I'm very grateful for the chance to be pregnant, because so many women are never able to experience such joy. I never take it for granted...ever.

Hopefully today's gratitude can make up for yesterday's selfishness.